Emotional Couple COURTESY
When someone falls in love, think that the partner and the relationship are perfect. Being in love causes brain to release all sorts of feel-good chemicals that make feel like being on Cloud 9. However, as most of us know, that feeling of being in Heaven with new love wears off after a while. Brain eventually stops creating as many feel-good chemicals, and slowly starts returning back to normal.
While some people do go on to live happily ever after, others begin to realize that their supposedly “perfect partner” is not so perfect anymore. In fact, some even come to the realization that their partner is downright emotionally unstable. Here are some things you can do to deal with your emotionally unstable person.
Step back and Observe
Ask yourself if you did anything wrong. Because they tend to gaslight other people, emotionally unstable people have you question your actions and sanity. Be objective, and observe them and yourself. Did you really do anything wrong?
Get other people’s Perspectives
Tell your stories to trusted loved ones. Tell them what happens in your interactions, and get their opinion about whether or not your partner is overacting, or if you actually did something wrong. Someone on the outside will likely have a clearer view of what’s going on.
Don’t play into their Drama
As the saying goes, “It takes two to tango.” In other words, someone can’t play a game by themselves. They need another person to participate. But don’t give into their drama. Refuse to engage in it and walk away.
Walk away when they Attack you
If and when they verbally, mentally, or emotionally attack you, just leave the conversation. Don’t allow them to do that to you! Demand that they talk to you nicely, and don’t accept anything less than that. If they can’t give you respect, then end the conversation until they can.
Remind them that how they are speaking to you is unacceptable. One very important thing to remember is this: you teach people how to treat you. Demand that they treat you with respect.
Don’t get sucked into their emotional storms. It’s easy to do because you want to defend yourself, but this just plays into their drama. Try to stay calm and rational because that’s the only way people can talk in a healthy manner.
Don’t fall for Gaslighting
When they try to gaslight you, refuse to accept it. Take notes on things that they tell you and what they do, so you have a record. When they try to deny things to make you look crazy, pull out your record and show them the truth.
Many times, an emotionally unstable person cannot get better on their own. Going to a trained therapist or psychologist is something that they should probably do – both on their own, and perhaps as a couple as well.
If all else fails, End the Relationship
Unfortunately, not all relationships can survive even under the best of circumstances. If you have tried all you can to fix your relationship and make it healthy with someone who is emotionally unstable, sometimes it’s just time to end the relationship and find someone else that you are more compatible with.
Being in a relationship with an emotionally unstable person is never easy. You feel like you never know how they are going to act or what they’ll say next. But that’s no way to live. Everyone deserves to be in a happy, healthy relationship. Don’t forget to love yourself enough to put yourself and your happiness first!